1
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,677
HEY, KEVIN.

2
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,346
IT'S JUNE COLBURN

3
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,346
FROM APARTMENT 23.

4
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,097
WE'VE--WE'VE MET

5
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,097
SEVERAL TIMES.

6
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,766
YOU CAN JUST

7
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,766
HAND ME OUR MAIL.

8
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,059
OH, CAN I, JUNE COLBURN

9
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,059
FROM APARTMENT 23?

10
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,061
CAN I JUST HAND YOU

11
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,061
YOUR MAIL?

12
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,063
I DON'T KNOW YOU.

13
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,649
I SAY "HI" TO YOU

14
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,649
EVERY DAY.

15
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,649
(keys jangle)

16
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,067
I DONATED MONEY

17
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,067
TO YOUR WALK FOR DIABETES.

18
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,069
I MADE YOU BUTTER COOKIES

19
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,069
IN THE SHAPE OF STAMPS.

20
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,447
I'M DIABETIC.

21
00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:32,324
SO THE WALK WAS A BUST?

22
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,909
(keys jangle)

23
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,871
(gasps)

24
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,079
MY "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE!

25
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,081
(June)

26
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,081
THIS IS THE LAST ISSUE

27
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,877
BEFORE "PEOPLE" NAMED

28
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,877
THEIR SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.

29
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,877
(elevator bell dings)

30
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,879
EVERY YEAR, MY MOM AND I

31
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,879
COUNT DOWN THE DAYS

32
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,296
UNTIL HE IS REVEALED.

33
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,089
IT'S KIND OF LIKE CHRISTMAS,

34
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,300
BUT WITH LESS JESUS

35
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,300
AND MORE SEXY.

36
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,595
I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY DO IT,

37
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,595
BUT "PEOPLE" NEVER MISSES.

38
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:56,807
(Muzak playing)

39
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,100
JUNIE DEPP.

40
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,102
(Muzak playing)

41
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,313
JUNEZEL WASHINGTON.

42
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,190
♪♪♪

43
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,027
DAMN DAMN RIGHT,

44
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,027
HARRY HAMLIN.

45
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,110
JUNE! LANGUAGE!

46
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,113
MMM-MMM-MMM.

47
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,116
HOW DO THEY DO IT?

48
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,116
WHAT'S THEIR FORMULA?

49
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:17,202
I... DON'T... KNOW.

50
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,120
I HAVE EVERY

51
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,120
"SEXIEST MAN ALIVE" ISSUE

52
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,414
IN A BINDER NEXT TO MY BED.

53
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,124
JACKMAN, FORD, PITT,

54
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,002
CLOONEY, LAW, DAMON, BROSNAN...

55
00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:27,004
WHERE'S MY SEXIEST BINDER ALIVE?

56
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,007
CHLOE?

57
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,968
JUNE! LOOK WHAT I MADE

58
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,968
WITH MY HANDS!

59
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,511
OH, GOD, MY "PEOPLES"!

60
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,971
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD

61
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,971
OF A VOLCANOLOGIST?

62
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,806
JARED'S A VOLCANOLOGIST.

63
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,806
THAT'S HIS ACTUAL JOB.

64
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,433
AND USUALLY THAT WOULD MAKE HIM

65
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,433
SUICIDALLY BORING,

66
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,976
BUT I'M SUPER INTO

67
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,976
VOLCANOES THIS WEEK.

68
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,143
AND YOU WANNA KNOW

69
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,143
THE CRAZIEST PART?

70
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,144
I'M NOT EVEN JUICED

71
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,144
RIGHT NOW!

72
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,355
BUT LOOK WHAT I MADE!

73
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,355
(squeals)

74
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:50,861
DAMN  DAMN,

75
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:50,861
HAMLIN'S STILL GOT IT.

76
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,154
(Katie Hampton) ♪ I'M NOT

77
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,154
PERFECT, I'M NO SNITCH ♪

78
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:54,949
♪ BUT I CAN TELL YOU ♪

79
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,575
(whispers) ♪ SHE'S A... ♪

80
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,575
(buzzer)

81
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,160
♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪

82
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,163
♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪

83
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,791
Channing Tatum? Really?

84
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,208
(laughs)

85
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,169
It's Sexiest Man  Alive,  June.

86
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,169
CAN I FINISH?

87
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,047
On the planet.

88
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,047
LET ME FINISH.

89
00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:11,172
OKAY, HE HAS

90
00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:11,172
THE HEAD OF A BOY

91
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,467
BUT THE BOD

92
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,467
OF A FULL-GROWN MAN.

93
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,803
HIS MOVIES HAVE GROSSED

94
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,803
OVER A BILLION DOLLARS.

95
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,263
A billion? So we're just

96
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,263
making up facts now?

97
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,473
OKAY, YOU WANNA TALK FACTS?

98
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,600
OKAY, FACT--

99
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,600
CHANNING IS A TRAINED DANCER.

100
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,185
FACT--HE CAN DO

101
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,185
BOTH DRAMA AND COMEDY.

102
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:27,230
FACT--HIS FACE

103
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:27,230
WAS MARINATED BY ANGELS.

104
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,190
Angels?! Now you're bringing

105
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,190
religion into this?

106
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,859
Is this hummus old?

107
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:33,028
SPECIAL DELIVERY

108
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:33,028
FOR JUNE COLBURN!

109
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,280
GET YOUR

110
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,280
MORNING SMOOTHIE HERE!

111
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,364
OOH! PEACH!

112
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,199
What about Ryan Gosling?

113
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,201
No one is more "Sexiest Man

114
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,201
Alive" cover material

115
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,495
than that guy.

116
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,497
I mean, besides your dad.

117
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,208
Why can't we just have

118
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,208
regular yellow mustard?

119
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,294
OKAY, NO MORE

120
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,294
"SEXIEST MAN ALIVE" TALK.

121
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,213
IT... IT'S LIKE A YEARLY SLAP

122
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,213
IN THE FACE FROM THAT MAGAZINE.

123
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,632
THEY WON'T EVEN

124
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,632
CONSIDER ME,

125
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,383
WHICH IS CRAZY,

126
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,383
'CAUSE I'M SEXY.

127
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,927
RIGHT, CONNIE?

128
00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,680
Good-bye.

129
00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,680
(internet call chimes)

130
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,849
WHY'D SHE END THE CALL

131
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,849
SO FAST?

132
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,309
SHE PROBABLY HAD

133
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,309
A... A THING... TO DO.

134
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,478
JUNE?

135
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,064
LOOK AT ME, JUNE.

136
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,231
I'M SEXY, RIGHT?

137
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,861
I MEAN, I HAVE TO BE.

138
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,861
I'M ON "DANCING WITH THE STARS."

139
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,236
(slurping)

140
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,236
SO WAS NANCY GRACE.

141
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,446
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

142
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,615
YOU'RE NOT SEXY.

143
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:21,160
I MEAN,

144
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:21,160
CLEARLY YOU'RE HANDSOME.

145
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,828
YOU HAVE ALL OF THE PIECES.

146
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,454
THEY JUST DON'T

147
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,454
ALL ADD UP TO SEXY.

148
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,123
(scoffs)

149
00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,042
SEXY.

150
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,251
SEXY.

151
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,210
SEXY.

152
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,881
MEH.

153
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,091
I'M NOT SEXY--

154
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,091
I AM NOT SEXY?

155
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,968
WHO'S SEXIER THAN I AM?

156
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,845
GOSLING, BECKHAM,

157
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,845
COSTNER, KANYE--

158
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,305
REFUSE. I REFUSE THIS.

159
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,315
(pounding on door)

160
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,275
GO ON.

161
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,278
COWELL, WAHLBERG,

162
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,278
DiCAPRIO, PRINCE HARRY--

163
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,115
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. FINE.

164
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,115
(door closes)

165
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,491
WHY THEM AND NOT ME?

166
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:04,953
(sighs) BECAUSE YOU'RE THE GUY

167
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:04,953
THAT WE WANT TO TAKE US TO PROM,

168
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,747
TO MAKE OUT WITH

169
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,747
BY THE CREEK,

170
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,290
NOT THE GUY THAT'S GONNA

171
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,290
RIP ALL OF OUR CLOTHES OFF

172
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,668
AND RAVISH US

173
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,668
IN THE NEAREST CAVE.

174
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,088
OH, BUT YOU THINK

175
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,088
COWELL WILL?

176
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,296
ACTUALLY, I COULD

177
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,296
KIND OF SEE THAT.

178
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,298
BESIDES, IT'S NOT JUST

179
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,298
THE PHYSICAL STUFF.

180
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,552
IT'S THE LITTLE DETAILS

181
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,552
THAT "PEOPLE" DIGS UP, YOU KNOW?

182
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,929
(door closes)

183
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,929
CLOONEY HAD A QUIRKY PET,

184
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,223
AND TOM CRUISE

185
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,223
OVERCAME DYSLEXIA.

186
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,725
IT'S... (sighs)

187
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,725
IT'S THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

188
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,309
I HAVE LITTLE DETAILS.

189
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,105
I'M RIGHT-HANDED,

190
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,105
BUT LEFT-FOOTED.

191
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,480
IT'S BETTER

192
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,480
THAT YOU'RE NOT SEXY.

193
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,024
BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS NOW,

194
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,609
AND YOU BRING ME

195
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,609
A SMOOTHIE EVERY DAY.

196
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,694
JAMES IS SEXY!

197
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,694
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

198
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,239
WHO CARES

199
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,239
WHAT SOME DUMB MAGAZINE SAYS?

200
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,240
THANK YOU.

201
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,323
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

202
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,325
THIS TINY FAMILY'S

203
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,325
VOLCANIC VACATION'S

204
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,620
ABOUT TO TAKE

205
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,620
A VERY TRAGIC TURN.

206
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,329
"SOME MAGAZINE"?

207
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,832
"PEOPLE" IS ON

208
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,832
THE CUTTING EDGE OF EVERYTHING.

209
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,375
YOU ONLY THINK

210
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,375
THOSE GUYS ARE SEXY

211
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,419
BECAUSE "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE

212
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,419
TOLD YOU TO THINK THAT.

213
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,337
THEY COULD PUT

214
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,337
FOZZIE BEAR ON THE COVER,

215
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,338
AND YOU WOULD THINK

216
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,338
HE WAS SEXY.

217
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,340
OH, DO NOT BE RIDICULOUS,

218
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,340
OKAY?

219
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,593
I WOULD WANNA HUG HIM

220
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,593
BECAUSE HE TRIES SO HARD,

221
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,344
BUT I DO NOT THINK

222
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,344
THAT HE IS SEXY.

223
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,347
JUNE, YOU ARE A SHEEP

224
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,347
JUST FOLLOWING THE HERD.

225
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,724
(imitates goat bleating)

226
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,724
MAAA.

227
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,392
IT'S "BAAA."

228
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,187
SEE? YOU'RE A SHEEP.

229
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,187
THAT WAS A TRAP.

230
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,396
YOU'RE WRONG.

231
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,439
ALL RIGHT, FINE.

232
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,984
I'LL PROVE TO YOU

233
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,984
ONCE AGAIN THAT I AM RIGHT.

234
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,820
RIGHT AFTER I BURY

235
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,820
THESE TINY ITALIANS IN LAVA.

236
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,989
IT WAS THEIR FIRST

237
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,989
FAMILY VACATION, TOO.

238
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,323
SO SAD.

239
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,537
(phone rings)

240
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,873
OOH. I KNOW I SAID THIS

241
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,873
LAST YEAR,

242
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,542
BUT, OOH-LA-LA,

243
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,542
JAKE GYLLENHAAL.

244
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,377
JAKE GYLLENHAAL.

245
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,377
(murmuring)

246
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,255
SORRY I'M LATE.

247
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,255
I HAD TO STOP AND GET A LATTE.

248
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,423
HI. I'M CHLOE,

249
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,423
YOUR NEW MANAGING EDITOR,

250
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,383
JUST TRANSFERRED

251
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,383
FROM THE LONDON OFFICE.

252
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,386
IT IS SO GOOD

253
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,386
TO BE BACK STATESIDE.

254
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,555
LONDON IS FILTHY,

255
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,555
AND NOT IN THE WAY YOU LIKE IT.

256
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,892
WHERE ARE WE ON "SEXIEST"?

257
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,892
CATCH ME UP.

258
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,062
WAIT. WHO ARE YOU?

259
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,438
I'M YOUR BOSS. WHO ARE YOU?

260
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,191
LIZ. LIZ SPORKIN.

261
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,399
HELLO, LIZ. YOU'RE FIRED.

262
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,652
DOES ANYONE ELSE

263
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,652
HAVE A QUESTION?

264
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,903
WHAT HAPPENED TO LARRY?

265
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,446
GOOD QUESTION. YOU'RE FIRED.

266
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,740
WHO WANTS TO MAKE IT A TRIFECTA?

267
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,412
HELLO? HAVE I BEEN TOO SUBTLE?

268
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,581
YOU'RE FIRED. THANK YOU

269
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,581
FOR YOUR YEARS OF DEDICATION.

270
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:14,833
NOW PLEASE LEAVE.

271
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,417
UH...

272
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,128
GO!

273
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,128
(pounds table)

274
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,425
UM...

275
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,384
MM.

276
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:36,395
(Chloe sighs)

277
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,441
UM--

278
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,441
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?

279
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,152
A FRESH START.

280
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,445
LET'S THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.

281
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,490
LET'S THROW THE EXPECTED

282
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,490
OUT THE WINDOW.

283
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,450
(thud, slap)

284
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,411
THAT'S A VERY CLEAN WINDOW.

285
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,084
(pen cap clicks)

286
00:06:57,125 --> 00:07:00,337
(squeaking)

287
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,421
(pen scribbling)

288
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,554
(tapping)

289
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,472
WHY DID I DRAW MALE GENITALIA

290
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,472
ON THE BOARD?

291
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:12,766
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME?

292
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,518
BECAUSE IT'S OUTSIDE

293
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,518
OF THE BOX?

294
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,561
NO.

295
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,561
(pen cap clicks)

296
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,146
BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT.

297
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,481
(clatters)

298
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,481
NOW LET'S GET TO WORK.

299
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,734
(papers shuffling)

300
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,528
SOMEBODY HANG UP MY COAT!

301
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,528
(mutters)

302
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,488
AAH!

303
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,489
(Chloe) BAM.

304
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,490
WHAT IS THAT?

305
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,492
OKAY, THIS IS NOT REAL.

306
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,661
I HAD THEM MOCK THIS UP

307
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,661
DOWN AT THE OFFICE.

308
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:37,332
I BECAME THE MANAGING EDITOR

309
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:37,332
OF "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE TODAY.

310
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,499
(exhales) YEAH, RIGHT.

311
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,499
(magazine thuds)

312
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,336
IT'S TRUE. I'VE TAKE OVER

313
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,336
A BUNCH OF COMPANIES BEFORE.

314
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,713
VOLVO, DOLE, FEBREZE.

315
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,966
YOU JUST GOTTA WALK IN

316
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,966
LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE,

317
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,509
FIRE THE FIRST PERSON

318
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,509
TO ASK YOU A QUESTION,

319
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,511
FIRE THE SECOND PERSON

320
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,511
TO ASK YOU A QUESTION,

321
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,014
AND THEN GAZE OUT THE WINDOW

322
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,014
AND DRAW A PEEN ON THE BOARD.

323
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,515
IT'S THE TRADITIONAL

324
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:58,145
INTIMIDATION-CONFUSION-

325
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:58,145
SUBMISSION TECHNIQUE.

326
00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,520
WHAT, DIDN'T THEY

327
00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,520
TEACH YOU THAT

328
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,731
AT STATE UNIVERSITY

329
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,731
BUSINESS TECH COLLEGE SCHOOL?

330
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,901
THAT WILL BE THE COVER

331
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,901
OF "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE'S

332
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,528
SEXIEST MAN ALIVE 2012.

333
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,530
JUNE, IT'S REAL.

334
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,532
IT'S HAPPENING.

335
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,532
REACT.

336
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,453
(whispers)

337
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,453
JUNE VAN DER BEEK.

338
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,495
(door slams)

339
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,922
WELL, WHY DID YOU STOP

340
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,922
LOOKING AT THE MAGAZINE, JUNE?

341
00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,966
THIS IS JUST THE COVER.

342
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,634
WE'RE GONNA DO

343
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,634
A WHOLE SPREAD.

344
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,552
JAMES ON A HORSE.

345
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,555
SHIRT. NO PANTS.

346
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,557
(whimpers)

347
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,557
OH, NO! THERE ARE NO

348
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,557
DIRTY DISHES.

349
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,268
I KNEW YOU WOULD TRY

350
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,268
TO DISTRACT YOURSELF

351
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,727
SO I THREW THEM ALL

352
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,727
OUT THE WINDOW.

353
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,396
NOW LOOK AT JAMES, JUNE.

354
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,396
LOOK AT HIM!

355
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,856
ADMIT HE'S SEXY.

356
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,358
OKAY, I JUST GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

357
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,275
(door closes)

358
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,818
DID YOU REALLY GET ME

359
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,818
THE COVER?

360
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,445
YOU KNOW IT, BABY!

361
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,655
OH, MY GOD.

362
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,655
THIS... (laughs)

363
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,157
GOD, I LOOK AMAZING.

364
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,658
IS THIS FROM

365
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,658
OUR MACHU PICCHU TRIP?

366
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,244
YEAH, IT WAS RIGHT AFTER WE

367
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,244
DRANK ALL THAT OLD LADY'S WATER.

368
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,497
(laughs)

369
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,789
(Yac-Yan Da Biznessman)

370
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,789
♪ SHORTY GOT THAT WHAT WHAT ♪

371
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,208
♪ SHORTY GOT THAT GOOD GOOD ♪

372
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,583
♪ SHORTY GOT THAT WHAT WHAT ♪

373
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,668
♪ SHORTY GOT THAT GOOD GOOD ♪

374
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:04,961
♪ SHORTY GOT THAT WHAT WHAT ♪

375
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,587
♪ SHORTY GOT THAT GOOD GOOD ♪

376
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,965
♪ SHORTY GOT THAT WHAT WHAT ♪

377
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,965
(laughs)

378
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,092
DO YOU REALLY WANT THE COVER

379
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,092
THIS WAY, JAMES?

380
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:14,054
I MEAN, DON'T YOU WANNA--

381
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:14,054
DON'T YOU WANNA EARN IT?

382
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,596
JUNE, IF I WAITED

383
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,596
UNTIL I EARNED SOMETHING,

384
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,598
THERE'S NO WAY I'D HAVE A BEER

385
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,598
NAMED AFTER ME IN DENMARK.

386
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,267
(speaks Danish)

387
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,267
...VAN DER BRAU?

388
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,601
(bottle cap fizzes)

389
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,603
(lion roars)

390
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:25,065
AHH!

391
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,983
VAN DER BRAU! (laughs)

392
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,609
I GOT THAT FOR JAMES, TOO.

393
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,778
IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I WAS

394
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,778
EXCOMMUNICATED FROM DENMARK.

395
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,990
THAT QUEEN MARGRETHE DOES NOT

396
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,990
UNDERSTAND THAT NO MEANS NO.

397
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,033
(chuckles)

398
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,659
COMING.

399
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,620
THEY'RE--THEY'RE CALLING ME.

400
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,620
THEY'RE CALLING ME.

401
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,081
WHAT'S UP WITH HER?

402
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,081
(door closes)

403
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,124
(chuckles) UH,

404
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,124
NOW THAT YOU'RE ON THE COVER,

405
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,626
SHE THINKS YOU'RE SEXY,

406
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,626
BUT SHE WON'T ADMIT IT.

407
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,295
I WOULD LOVE TO TEASE HER

408
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,295
ABOUT IT,

409
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,630
BUT I HAVE TO SET UP YOUR

410
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,630
PHOTO SHOOT AND ALL OF THAT.

411
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,633
DO ME A FAVOR

412
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,633
AND MESS WITH HER FOR ME.

413
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,929
I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

414
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,642
(door closes)

415
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:02,727
WHO'S THERE?

416
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,524
OH.

417
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:10,444
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS

418
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:10,444
DOING HERE?

419
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,447
OH, I'M JUST BRINGING MY FRIEND

420
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,447
HER MORNING PEACH SMOOTHIE.

421
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:14,739
NO BIG DEAL.

422
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,032
(gasps)

423
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,034
BUT WHAT'S THIS?

424
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,034
OH, MY GOODNESS.

425
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:21,162
I'VE SPILLED

426
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:21,162
ALL OVER MY SHIRT.

427
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,623
I BETTER

428
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,623
TAKE MY SHIRT OFF.

429
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,710
THERE WE GO.

430
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:31,590
OOH. NOW I'VE SPILLED ALL OVER

431
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:31,590
MY BARE CHEST.

432
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,260
LOOK AT THAT.

433
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,260
I AM SO MESSY. (laughs)

434
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,137
SUCH A MESSY BOY.

435
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,765
I BETTER TAKE A SHOWER.

436
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:44,144
AFTER I WORK UP A SWEAT.

437
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,728
ONE, TWO,

438
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,147
THREE, FOUR,

439
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,149
FIVE,  SEX,

440
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,858
SEVEN, EIGHT,

441
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,944
NINE.

442
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,904
AHH. SHOWER.

443
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,284
HE JUST GAVE ME BLUE TUBES.

444
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,286
BREATHE, OR ELSE YOU'LL GET

445
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,286
A TUMMY ACHE.

446
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,537
HERE.

447
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,081
LOOK AT THESE UNFLATTERING

448
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,081
PICTURES OF JAMES.

449
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,500
I'VE COLLECTED THEM

450
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,500
OVER THE YEARS

451
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,960
TO HELP ME GET THROUGH

452
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,960
MOMENTS LIKE THIS.

453
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,712
HERE HE IS

454
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,712
AFTER TOO MUCH SALT.

455
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,424
UH, BRUSHING HIS TEETH

456
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,424
ON THE TOILET.

457
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:15,800
HEY.

458
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:15,800
I COULDN'T FIND ANY TOWELS.

459
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,010
ALL YOU HAD WAS THIS, UH,

460
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,095
THIS LITTLE TEENSY-WEENSY ONE.

461
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,805
(exhales)

462
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:25,310
(shower running)

463
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,645
MY TUBES.

464
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,772
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

465
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,107
ARM OVER HERE,

466
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,151
SEXY OVER-THE-SHOULDER THING,

467
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,402
HANDSTAND--

468
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,989
ONE-ARMED

469
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,989
IF HE'S NOT A PANSY.

470
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,159
WELL, I JUST WANT TO SAY

471
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,159
THAT IT'S BEEN A REAL PLEASURE

472
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,328
WORKING WITH ALL OF YOU

473
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,328
ON THIS ISSUE,

474
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,912
EXCEPT YOU, BRENDA.

475
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,999
BEFORE YOU GO, CAN YOU APPROVE

476
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,999
JENNA ELFMAN FOR "CHATTER"?

477
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,127
JENNA ELFMAN? DIDN'T SHE JUST

478
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,127
DO "CHATTER" LAST YEAR?

479
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,046
LET'S GET FRAN DRESCHER.

480
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,046
I HATE HER VOICE,

481
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,964
BUT I LOVE HER POINT OF VIEW.

482
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,964
(mutters indistinctly)

483
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,757
(sighs)

484
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,386
WHAT'S COOKING IN "GREAT IDEAS"?

485
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,762
"MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SKIN

486
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,762
A CATFISH"?

487
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:02,930
(laughs)

488
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,765
COME ON, PEOPLE!

489
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,685
I WANT CORN SALADS.

490
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,478
I WANT SUMMER SUCCOTASH.

491
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,189
LET'S DAZZLE OUR READERS

492
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,189
WITH MANGOES.

493
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,942
UGH. I GUESS I JUST HAVE TO DO

494
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,942
EVERYTHING MYSELF.

495
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,942
(purse thuds)

496
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,695
WHO'S ON "PUZZLER"?

497
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:21,782
"WHOOPI BLANK-BERG.

498
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:21,782
FOUR LETTERS"?

499
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:24,869
I HAVE NO IDEA.

500
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:24,869
MAKE IT EASIER.

501
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,079
WHO'S ON "BEAUTY WATCH"?

502
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:30,083
OH, DEAR GOD, BRENDA,

503
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:30,083
I HATE YOU.

504
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,710
NEW IDEA FOR THE PHOTO SHOOT.

505
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,878
JAMES' HORSE TRAMPLES

506
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,878
AND KILLS BRENDA.

507
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,006
(woman) ♪ OOH, LA-LA-LA ♪

508
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,510
(sighs) CORPORATE WANTS US

509
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,510
TO HAVE A FIRE DRILL.

510
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,053
JAMES IS JUST SO SEXY.

511
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,264
YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE

512
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,264
ABOUT THIS FIRE DRILL.

513
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,392
(sighs) OH, GOD! HE'S ALL

514
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,392
I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME!

515
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,311
I CAN'T TALK TO HIM,

516
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,311
I CAN'T BE AROUND HIM,

517
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:53,106
I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM

518
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:53,106
WITHOUT BLUSHING.

519
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,024
I WAS ON THE COVER

520
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,024
OF "TIME" ONCE.

521
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,277
CROWD SHOT WHILE I WAS

522
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,277
OCCUPYING WALL STREET.

523
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,028
PRETTY SURE IT WAS ME.

524
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,448
MIGHT HAVE BEEN

525
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,448
D.L. HUGHLEY.

526
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,241
I CAN'T TELL US APART.

527
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,826
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

528
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,826
HE IS MY SMOOTHIE BUDDY.

529
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,246
LOOK, YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING

530
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,246
OF HIM AS SEXIEST MAN ALIVE...

531
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,246
(sighs)

532
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,832
AND JUST START THINKING OF HIM

533
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,832
AS YOUR FRIEND JAMES.

534
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,543
YOU'RE RIGHT.

535
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,044
(slaps sides)

536
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,044
HE'S JUST JAMES.

537
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,299
OKAY--NO.

538
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,299
OH, OH, NO, NO, NO.

539
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,299
NO, NO, NO.

540
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,883
IT'S JUST JAMES.

541
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,762
OH, NO. HE HAS GOT

542
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,762
A QUIRKY, ADORABLE PET

543
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:25,346
LIKE CLOONEY'S PIG.

544
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,348
HE'S MORE THAN JUST A FACE!

545
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,348
(gasps)

546
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,348
STEADY.

547
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,350
AH, HELLO, JUNE.

548
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,060
HAVE YOU MET

549
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,060
MY PET TURTLE STEPHANIE?

550
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:34,731
SHE PREFERS BUTTER LETTUCE

551
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:34,731
TO ALL OTHER LETTUCES.

552
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:37,233
(gasps) HE'S EVEN GOT

553
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:37,233
AN EARRING LIKE FORD.

554
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,652
EASY.

555
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,862
JUST, UH, PREPPING FOR

556
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,862
MY S.M.A. Q and A.

557
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:42,905
HIT ME, LUTHER.

558
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,866
IF YOU WERE A BIRD,

559
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,866
WHAT KIND WOULD YOU BE?

560
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,161
HAWAIIAN NENE GOOSE,

561
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,371
BECAUSE THEY MATE FOR LIFE

562
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,371
AND LIVE IN HAWAII.

563
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,914
OH...

564
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,914
I CAN'T IMAGINE

565
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,914
ANYTHING BETTER.

566
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,292
NEITHER CAN I.

567
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,292
OH! GOD...

568
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,336
OH...

569
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,336
AHH! MNH!

570
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,088
COME ON, MAN.

571
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,882
THE TURTLE, THE EARRING,

572
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,882
THE ROMANTIC ANSWERS.

573
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,301
ARE YOU DOING ALL THIS

574
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,301
JUST TO MESS WITH JUNE?

575
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,346
YEAH, AT FIRST I WAS,

576
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,346
BUT THEN I REALIZED,

577
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,348
I'M GONNA NEED TO BECOME

578
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,348
MORE DIMENSIONAL

579
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,183
IF I'M GONNA BE

580
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,183
THE REIGNING S.M.A.

581
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,602
AFTER THIS ISSUE COMES OUT,

582
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,602
I WON'T BE ABLE TO COME IN HERE

583
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:13,894
WITHOUT GETTING MOBBED.

584
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,396
(dramatic orchestral score

585
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,396
playing)

586
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:18,483
(sighs) GOOD-BYE,

587
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:18,483
IT'S JUST BEANS.

588
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,360
I'VE ENJOYED OUR TIME

589
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,360
TOGETHER.

590
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,778
(inhales) BUT NOW I'M LIKE...

591
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,323
(exhales) NEW ORLEANS

592
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,323
BEFORE THE LEVEES BURST.

593
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,866
MY FAME LEVEE'S ABOUT TO BLOW.

594
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,411
GRAB YOUR PONCHOS, PEOPLE.

595
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,330
(door bells jingle)

596
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,330
BYE!

597
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,751
(sighs)

598
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,128
PANTLESS HANDSTAND ON A HORSE--

599
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,128
NOT SEXY. NOW WE KNOW.

600
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,341
YOU WERE RIGHT.

601
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,341
(gasps)

602
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,760
YOU PUT JAMES ON THE COVER,

603
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,760
AND NOW I THINK HE'S SEXY.

604
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,596
I AM A SHEEP. YOU WIN. OKAY?

605
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,596
NOW TAKE IT OFF,

606
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,390
BECAUSE IT'S RUINING

607
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,390
MY FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM.

608
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,933
FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU

609
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,933
FOR ADMITTING I WAS RIGHT.

610
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:56,312
SECOND, I CAN'T TAKE HIM OFF.

611
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:56,312
IT'S MY JOB TO SELL MAGAZINES.

612
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,439
YOUR JOB? YOU'VE BEEN

613
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,439
WORKING HERE FOR THREE DAYS.

614
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,859
AND I'VE COME IN

615
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,859
FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

616
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,737
LOOK, THIS IS ABOUT MORE

617
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,737
THAN JUST YOU NOW, JUNE.

618
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,780
THIS IS ABOUT

619
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,780
MILLIONS OF WOMEN

620
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:10,243
LOOKING TO ME FOR GUIDANCE

621
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:10,243
ON WHAT TO WEAR, HOW TO COOK,

622
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,829
AND WHO TO FANTASIZE ABOUT

623
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,829
WHEN THEY FLUFF THE DUFF.

624
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,207
(laughing)

625
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,207
SHUT UP, JONAH!

626
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,207
UGH. IGNORE HIM.

627
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,959
(clenches teeth) HE'S MY COUSIN.

628
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,959
MY MOTHER MADE ME HIRE HIM.

629
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,212
THIS IS INSANE.

630
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,212
YOU DON'T WORK HERE.

631
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,964
NO ONE IS LOOKING TO YOU

632
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,964
FOR GUIDANCE ON ANYTHING!

633
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,842
IS THAT SO?

634
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,261
STRAWBERRY LIP BALM,

635
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,261
A BERET, AND SMINTS--

636
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,929
THAT'S WHAT'S IN YOUR PURSE.

637
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,976
HOW DID YOU--

638
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,771
I KNOW WHAT'S IN YOUR PURSE

639
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,771
BECAUSE WE--

640
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,022
ME AND MY MAGAZINE--

641
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,022
PUT THEM THERE.

642
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,482
WE TOLD YOU THOSE ITEMS

643
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,482
WERE HOT,

644
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:42,983
AND YOU WENT OUT

645
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:42,983
AND BOUGHT THEM.

646
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,903
THAT'S THE KIND OF POWER

647
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,903
WE HAVE.

648
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:48,030
WELL, YOU ALSO HAVE THE POWER

649
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:48,030
TO HELP OUT YOUR ROOMMATE.

650
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,408
IT'S TRUE, I DO, BUT I ALSO

651
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,408
HAVE A MAGAZINE TO RUN.

652
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,995
WHY ARE YOU HANDING ME

653
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,995
TWO OF THE EXACT SAME PICTURE?

654
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,997
UH, IT'S FOR "SECOND LOOK."

655
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,997
IT NEEDS YOUR APPROVAL.

656
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,999
(voice quavers) THERE ARE

657
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,999
15 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THEM.

658
00:15:59,041 --> 00:15:59,918
NO, THERE AREN'T.

659
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,002
OKAY, ONE.

660
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,255
THREE. NINE.

661
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,882
15.

662
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,882
THERE ARE 15 DIFFERENCES.

663
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,634
OKAY, GOOD WORK.

664
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,634
THIS CAN RUN.

665
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,428
(whispers)

666
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,428
OH, THANK YOU. BYE.

667
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,012
JAMES WILL BE ON THE COVER.

668
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,641
I'M SORRY IF THAT MEANS YOUR

669
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,641
FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM IS OVER.

670
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,604
(presses buttons)

671
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:20,647
WHO IS THIS?!

672
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:20,647
(door slams)

673
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,486
SHE'S IN MY HEAD.

674
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,028
SHE'S IN MY PURSE.

675
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,197
YOU EVEN TOLD YOU

676
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,197
TO WEAR THOSE BRACELETS.

677
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,534
What?! No, I got these

678
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,534
from a cart at the mall.

679
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,536
BECAUSE THEY WERE FEATURED

680
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,536
IN "STYLE WATCH"

681
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,121
ON "PEOPLE'S" WEB SITE.

682
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,249
CHLOE WAS RIGHT.

683
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,249
(sighs) WE'RE JUST SHEEP.

684
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,877
I-I think you're missing

685
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,877
the bigger picture, honey.

686
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:46,339
You have a chance

687
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:46,339
no Colburn woman has ever had--

688
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:49,509
a chance to bed

689
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:49,509
a Sexiest Man Alive!

690
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,052
JAMES IS MY FRIEND.

691
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,052
I DON'T WANT TO RUIN THAT.

692
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,888
Oh, this is something

693
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,888
you can't just walk away from.

694
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,139
The closest I ever got

695
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,350
was shoving the Nick Nolte

696
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,350
issue down my girdle.

697
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,893
I'M HANGING UP NOW.

698
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,436
Stop avoiding James!

699
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,105
Tell him how you feel

700
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,105
before it's too late!

701
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,732
Hi, honey.

702
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,235
You know what's not sexy?

703
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,362
Regret.

704
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:17,077
DRINK IT ALL IN, STEPHANIE.

705
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,289
IT'S ALL GONNA BE DIFFERENT

706
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,289
AFTER TODAY.

707
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:23,292
IN A WAY, THESE ARE OUR

708
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:23,292
LAST FEW MOMENTS OF FREEDOM.

709
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,544
THERE YOU ARE.

710
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:25,670
D-D--WATCH OUT!

711
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,088
D-DID YOU NOT SEE

712
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,088
THE BALLOON?

713
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,590
LUTHER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

714
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,590
A GOOD WAY TO KEEP TABS ON HER

715
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,091
AFTER WHAT HAPPENED.

716
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,594
(singsongy) "VARSITY BLUES"

717
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,594
IS ON ABC FAMILY!

718
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,304
I REPEAT--

719
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,304
(crunch)

720
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:40,142
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS

721
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:40,142
WHEN I LOVE SOMETHING!

722
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,896
TURNS OUT HE JUST STEPPED

723
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,896
ON SOME LETTUCE, THANK GOD.

724
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:45,147
COULD HAVE BEEN STEPH.

725
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,025
LISTEN. I NEED

726
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,025
TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

727
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,109
CAN IT WAIT?

728
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,109
THE NEWSSTAND'S ABOUT TO OPEN.

729
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,361
I WANT TO HAVE SEX

730
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,361
WITH YOU.

731
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,988
JUNE, STOP.

732
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,406
I CAN'T!

733
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,406
I CAN'T FIGHT IT ANYMORE!

734
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,115
MAYBE IT'S JUST BECAUSE

735
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,115
YOU'RE ON THE COVER

736
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,409
OF "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE,

737
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,409
BUT I DON'T CARE!

738
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,161
I CAN'T STOP THINKING

739
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,161
ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOU.

740
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,121
LET ME HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

741
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,121
I JUST WANT TO HAVE--

742
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,456
(kisses)

743
00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:07,962
NOTHING, RIGHT?

744
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,129
NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

745
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,173
EXACTLY. IT'S BECAUSE

746
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,173
WE'RE FRIENDS--

747
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,843
FRIENDS WHO SHARE SMOOTHIES,

748
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,843
NOT SMOOCHIES.

749
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,929
LISTEN, I KNOW I'VE BEEN

750
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,929
TEASING YOU THIS WEEK,

751
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,638
BUT... IT'S ALL IN FUN.

752
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,640
I DON'T NEED YOU

753
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,640
TO THINK I'M SEXY.

754
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,935
ABOUT 45 MILLION

755
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,935
OTHER PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO,

756
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,227
AND I NEED YOU

757
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,227
TO BE MY FRIEND.

758
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,229
(rattling)

759
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,189
WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!

760
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,776
I'M NOT ON THE COVER?

761
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,776
WHAT HAPPENED?

762
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,611
(gasps)

763
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,863
HE'S ON ALL OF THEM!

764
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:34,989
(panting)

765
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,450
WHO DID THIS?

766
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,450
(clatters)

767
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,370
WHAT IS GOING ON?

768
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,247
WHY IS JAMES

769
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,247
NOT ON THE COVER?

770
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,874
UH, MARJORIE MUST HAVE

771
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,874
NIXED IT.

772
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,793
MARJORIE HAS FINAL SAY.

773
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,045
STOP SAYING "MARJORIE" LIKE I'M

774
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,045
SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THAT IS.

775
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:51,089
YOU DON'T KNOW

776
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:51,089
WHO MARJORIE IS?

777
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:51,089
OH, MY GOD!

778
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,591
ONE MORE WORD,

779
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,591
AND BRENDA GETS A SMACKWICH.

780
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,175
I DON'T UNDERSTAND--

781
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,177
HER FACE IS THE LUNCH MEAT,

782
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,177
MY HANDS ARE THE BREAD!

783
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,179
HUH?! OHH...

784
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,179
SMACKWICH!

785
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:03,183
NOW, CAN ANYONE GIVE ME

786
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:03,183
CLARITY ON THIS SITUATION?

787
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,103
THEY'RE, UH, TALKING

788
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,103
ABOUT MARJORIE MEYERS.

789
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,855
SHE'S WORKED FOR THE MAGAZINE

790
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,855
SINCE ITS INCEPTION.

791
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,190
SHE PICKS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE

792
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,190
EVERY YEAR.

793
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,234
I'M MARJORIE MEYERS,

794
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,488
GENIUS BEHIND

795
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,488
"SEXIEST MAN ALIVE."

796
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,240
I'M OFTEN ASKED,

797
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,240
"WHAT IS MY SECRET?"

798
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,200
I MERELY GO WITH THE MAN

799
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:23,203
THAT GETS THINGS KICKING

800
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:23,203
IN MY PANTS. (chuckles)

801
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,623
AND THE OLD GAL

802
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,623
HASN'T BEEN WRONG YET.

803
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,001
EVERY YEAR THE STAFF GIVES

804
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,001
THEIR TOP TEN CANDIDATES,

805
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,628
AND MARJORIE IGNORES THEM

806
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,628
AND GOES WITH HER PANTS.

807
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,673
I WAS BAREBACK ON A HORSE

808
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,673
FOR SEVEN HOURS

809
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,049
WEARING NOTHING

810
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,049
BUT A SHIRT.

811
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,217
OKAY, DO YOU KNOW

812
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,217
WHY PANTS WERE INVENTED?

813
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,845
TO PREVENT WHAT HAPPENED

814
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,845
TO ME.

815
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:39,929
AND YOU LOOKED GREAT.

816
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,848
WHICH IS WHY

817
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,848
WE GAVE YOU A SPREAD.

818
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,476
DAMN  DAMN,  I LOOK GOOD!

819
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,022
I'LL TAKE IT.

820
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:50,523
HI. REMEMBER US?

821
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,150
WE'RE LIZ AND PETER.

822
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,234
YEAH, SO IT TURNS OUT

823
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,234
THAT YOU CAN'T FIRE US,

824
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,486
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WORK HERE.

825
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,237
(sighs) FINALLY!

826
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,490
HOW DID IT TAKE YOU FIVE DAYS

827
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,490
TO PUT THAT TOGETHER?

828
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,075
WELL, WE JUST HAD

829
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,075
OUR EXIT INTERVIEW--

830
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,161
I DON'T CARE. I'M EXHAUSTED.

831
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,079
I, UH, JUST WANT TO SAY

832
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,247
THAT, UM, YOU GUYS NAILED

833
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,250
THE "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE"

834
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,250
AGAIN THIS YEAR.

835
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,335
AND IF I'M A SHEEP,

836
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,335
I'M JUST GLAD

837
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,046
THAT YOU ALL

838
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,046
ARE MY SHEPHERDS,

839
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,505
AND I'M SURE

840
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,505
THAT MY MOTHER IS...

841
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,841
(Southern accent) SHOVING THIS

842
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,841
DOWN HER GIRDLE RIGHT NOW...

843
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,885
(normal voice) AS WE SPEAK,

844
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,885
SO THANK YOU.

845
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,929
(sighs) WELL, TEAM,

846
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,430
WHAT CAN I SAY?

847
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,432
MY JOB HERE WAS FAKE,

848
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,561
BUT THE WORK THAT WE DID

849
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,561
WAS REAL... ISH.

850
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,270
BRENDA, WHAT CAN I SAY

851
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,270
TO YOU, BRENDA?

852
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,314
WHERE DO I EVEN START?

853
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,314
(chuckles)

854
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,441
I KNOW I'VE BEEN

855
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,441
ESPECIALLY HARD ON YOU,

856
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,570
BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I SEE

857
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,570
SO MUCH POTENTIAL.

858
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,239
(voice breaking) YOU'RE

859
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,239
THE BEST BOSS I EVER HAD.

860
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:43,283
I DIDN'T WANT THINGS

861
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:43,283
TO END THIS WAY,

862
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,536
BUT ALL GOOD THINGS, RIGHT?

863
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,287
WHEN YOU SPEAK OF ME

864
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,287
AT THE COMPANY RETREAT,

865
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,372
WHICH I STILL PLAN

866
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,372
ON ATTENDING,

867
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,374
SPEAK OF ME WELL.

868
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,710
I'LL SEE YOU ALL IN BAJA.

869
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,921
(clicks switch)

870
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,297
UH, WE'RE STILL WORKING!

871
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,257
YOU'RE FIRED!

872
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,257
(door slams)

873
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:04,013
CAN I GET A WATER?

874
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:04,013
(man) WATER FOR JAMES.

875
00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:06,306
WATER, PLEASE. THANK YOU.

876
00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:06,306
ALL RIGHT, GREAT. GOOD JOB.

877
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,475
NOW CAN YOU GET ME ONE

878
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,475
THAT'S NOT HOT AS HELLFIRE?

879
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:09,602
(shutter clicking)

880
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,562
DONNIE, YEAH.

881
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,981
I JUST SAW THE HORSE'S TRAILER.

882
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,981
IT'S BIGGER THAN MINE.

883
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:16,358
AND GO BY STAR SIZE,

884
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:16,358
NOT BODY SIZE.

885
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,153
(blusters)

886
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,030
IS THAT SECRETARIAT?

887
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,030
OH, IT'S NOT?

888
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,698
'CAUSE THE WAY

889
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,698
EVERYONE'S FAWNING OVER HIM,

890
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:23,824
I THOUGHT IT MUST BE.

891
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,326
DONNIE, LISTEN, YEAH.

892
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,620
I'M GETTING TIRED OF THIS HORSE.

893
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,329
I WANT YOU TO SEND HIM

894
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,329
A GIFT BASKET FROM ME--

895
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:32,291
SEASON ONE OF "LUCK"

896
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:32,291
AND A BIG TUB OF GLUE.


